Onwards and Upwards

Hello 2015!

I am looking forward to the bestest year ever...

I have my first-7-days reasons why:

01 Jan is FAMILY | This is the best place anyone can be... when we are with family.

After 7 years, I was able to celebrate New Year at home with all the "rounded" fruits on the table, colorful fireworks, loud firecrackers and a happy noisy extended family.

Listening With One Ear

I've been sick for a month already.
As I mentioned on my previous post, The Adventure Begins...
I'm getting used to the buzzing sound from my left ear, though being deaf is a different thing. It's embarrassing at  times, it is really difficult to catch up on conversations. But aside from the imbalance and headache... I am fine. 


Though it is alarming that I am becoming comfortable in listening with one ear... 

Last week, my brother and I flew back home for my medication. It was another test of faith as we were only chance passengers; the flight was full on our first attempt. We needed to wait for another day for the next flight.

On our way home, I prayed and claimed that God will give us seats on the next flight, may His will be done. But as we reached home, I went straight to the computer and search for some alternative routes. Malaysia first came to my mind. I checked flight details and the connecting flights. I even wrote them down; making it my 2nd option, if the Manila flight is full on our next attempt. Then I searched for few other options... but the Malaysia flight seems to be the best.

I asked my brother, who was sleeping then to check the details. He said it's fine, and he asked me back... I had second thoughts. Half of me is saying, go! while the other half seems to challenge my faith. Then I said, no, because I already claim that God will give us a seat on the Manila flight, the most convenient since it is direct flight.

Vision Board

3 years ago, I started to create and believe in the vision board - as mentioned in Rhonda Byrne's The Secret - Understanding the law of attraction - and the power of positive thinking.

My first vision board was not a board at all, I just posted a DVD cover of the movie - Dubai on my cabinet. It was 2007. Few months after that, I found myself in UAE.

Meeting My Momay

Oh my... Momay! :)

FYI: Momay is Philippine TV's version of Casper.

Every night when I reach home, she hugs me tight...

Yes! and that  keeps all my hair up until midnight!

When I kiss our babies, Macs, Tiqueng, Riqqa and Dyoni, I am aware of her sweet kisses too...

I can feel her presence somewhere in our little home that is "only for two".

Admittedly... I am  afraid of ghost! For the reason that they are GHOSTS!!! and who is not, by the way?

I don't know if they really exist...

But I had few encounters with them. I am aware that 'its them' or 'they're it'...

Recently, I shared with you my drama of being HOME alone but not lonely...

I can actually give an excellent grade for myself because I know that I have achieved my goal... Until now, this experience is teaching me a lot and I am enjoying it, everyday... I am growing... :)

Back to Momay...

HOME ALONE but not lonely...

Let me borrow that famous line...

One of my many fears that I am trying to overcome is to be home alone.

Yes. At 30, I still can't sleep alone...
I have strong imagination... Tik-Tak of clock is like a musical scoring in a horror movie... Darkness is like thick clouds where ghosts hide, and in a snap, they will run (or maybe float) towards me. My feet should be covered; otherwise, something or someone will pull me through my feet and bring me under the bed!!!
I am sooo afraid of ghost!
Aside from sleeping, another dilemma is that I don't know how to cook.
I can fry. I can saute...but then what's next? :-)

Embarrassed

I had several "embarrassing moments" in my life...
Bloopers that can be compiled or added to funny komiks!

But the three most embarrassing are my conveys with my nephew, Derick...

The first one happened about 6 months ago... when I was talking with him, after his operation (when he had a motorcycle accident).
I can clearly recall how I cried, every time I hear his voice, the pain, the fear that I had while he was in the hospital...
And there was this one time that right after one of his operations, he was conscious when they brought him out from the OR. My mother told me that I can talk to him, and so I did...

Me: How are you? Are you in pain?
Him: I am fine, Tita. I am numb... they injected anesthesia...
Then I started crying...
and he said: Don't cry, I am fine... I already prayed...

He is just 10 years old and lying on that hospital bed...

The second incident happened maybe just a month after the first. He was already home, on the stage of recovery, we were chatting... then he stopped and told me that the driver of the motorbike and his father were there to talk to my parents and brother...

I was 4,297 miles away from home, but when I knew that the man who almost took my nephew's future and brought problem to my family was there... I wished that I can fly and reach home at that moment to slap his face and get vengeance for what he does.

And when Derick was back online... I asked him:

Me: What happened? Are they gone?
Him: Yes, they left already. They talked.
Me: Are you Ok? How did you feel upon seeing that guy?
Him: Nothing.
Me: Are you angry?
Him: No. It was an accident.

He was still healing then, and the wounds were still fresh.

The third happened just yesterday... still online as we were chatting.
He told me that he will finish his assignments first, and will just buzz me when he's done.
After like three hours, he went back and gave a buzz...

Him: Hello! Sorry, it took me so long. I fell asleep because I was so annoyed!
Me: Why? What happened?
Him: Because Eca (his sister) threw a slipper and hit my head.
Me: Oh! Maybe it was an accident.
Him: Yes, it was...

Then he told me that he will try one game online, and will buzz me again after...
I know he was not OK.
If that happened to me, I'm sure my brother and I will fight...

After some time, I buzzed him:
Me: Are you mad at Eca?
Him: No. It's fine. There is nothing I can do.

I know that my nephew look up to me. We are so close. Everyday, he gives me a buzz to say Hi. To remind me not to miss a meal or to have a rest once in a while. He will send audible hugs and kisses at times that I am busy. And never ashame of telling me that he loves and misses me.

Yet he don't know that there are many things that I learned from him.
All this time, I know that my faith can move mountains... yet his can't only move but can transform mountains..
I know how to forgive, but it will take me some time to do that. There are people that I didn't greeted for years... yet for him, the guy who hit him and gave so much pain physically and emotionally was easily forgiven.
And the sibling fight... for me, I won't let it pass without doing the same... yet he knows that he needs to be more patient to them.

If I sounded like a proud tita... well, maybe I am.
And I'm thankful that his parents... and grandparents... and tita :) raised him well.
I am praying that those traits that I admire won't change, as he grow up...

"Train a child in the way he should go, & when he is old he will not depart from it."

Proverbs 22:6

where have I been?

just somewhere...

.

.

.

in the place where my heart stays.

where there are too much laughter in the air.

and where smile sticked on my face...

.

.

there in the comfort zone of my being.

where 2 minutes lasts for decades...

and seconds of fun stays forever.

.

.

in paradise where i was surrounded by love.

where all the people that matters are just within reach.

where nights were like days... and days dont turn to nights.

.

.

there, rain and sun are together.

wind blows cold, yet sunshine kept us warm.

.

.

the place where my mind rests...

where my heart beats...

and where my dreams achieved.

Batang Jollibee

Gusto kong mapunta sa buwan...

isang raket ship paliliparin;

Gusto kong mapunta sa buwan...

pero ayokong tumira jan.

Gusto ko rin under the sea...

makikilala ang mga fish.

Under the sea ako'y mag s-swim...

PERO AKO AY UUWI RIN!

Pag pumunta ako dun, mami-miss ko sila...

si Nanay at Tatay, Jollibee at Kuya.

Kay raming lugar na gustong mapunta...

PERO GUSTO KO SA PILING NILA :)

ikakain ko na lang po kayo :)

sunshine after the rain

this week has been so hectic.
and there are a lot of other issues involved.
many things happened. good. not so good...

last sunday, our department had a general assembly.
our big boss announced that starting immediately, the company will implement cost cutting measures strictly... and yes, again, some people lost their job :(

then, monday came. aside from the company related concerns, our housemates (the couple) had a big argument last week... and still not ok. its their life and i dont want to share more... but the guy talked to me and expressed his grievances... which i somehow absorbed (the nega vibes).

tuesday was fair. after another tiring day, we headed to one flat where we purchased a fridge for my brother's new place. the thrill of buying some "sale" and 2nd hand items made us enjoy that night... and ofcourse, as he fixed his room, the happiness is priceless.

wednesday. another busy and quite nega day as a buyer of the washing machine that we were selling backed out. not because its not working properly, but because of the little rust in the body that he saw... which is explainable because of the kind of water in the UAE... well. its fine, since another person purchased it.

and today... before these long and stressfull week ends...
great things happened.

erika and i were able to finalized our vacation...
got approvals and confirmed flight bookings :)
and yes. we are coming home soon!!!
as she said, "Happiness! I’ve never been happy as this before!"

and while i was waiting for my boss earlier, i am talking with my nephew derick...
i asked him to pray for me, and he said: "Opo lagi kaya kitang pinag pray tuwing gabi." (Yes. I always pray for you, every night)

those words gave me confidence, because i'm having second thoughts about taking this holiday. due to the present economic condition and our company's situation... but me and my family prayed for this... that God will give what is best for me. whether to take this vacation or not... Thy will be done.

this is always true - there will never be a forever bad day or week... or good times wont really last that long. its a constant adventure. you will never know what will happen next, or how long this phase will be...

yes, there are some humps and round abouts during the travel, but the journey will always be safe and happy as long as you trust your Driver.

Harvest Time Homecare II

Home is not where you live, but where they understand you...

Address: 9913 Glade Ave. Chatsworth, CA 91311
Phone: 818-773-0071

Administrator: Leticia Victorio;
Phone: 818-624-1443

nanay's flowers

these are another flowers from my mother's little garden.

they are simple, yet they bloomed beautifully.

i know why.

because my mother takes care of them well.

waters them with love.

if they can only say a word...

definitely, they will agree!!!

well, they dont need to say a word.

its shown clearly.

i am proud of my mother.

just like these gorgeous flowers...

she raised me well.

Perya

Perya is Pinoy version of Carnival...

but smaller than the usual, because these mini rides and game stands are set to move from one place to another. they can be seen on different towns or 'barrios' during 'fiesta' (feast for the patron). It is usually set up in some empty lot or rice fields...

the celebration of fiesta will never be complete without Perya, where people, especially kids can ride the famous Ferris Wheel, Caterpillar and Octopus...

and also the game booths where players can win baso at plato (glass and plates) with just throwing coins at the board...

and not to mention the all time favorite Bingo with a grand prize of Sala Set (Sofa) or a Karaoke :)

and if you really want to win money... quickly :) you can play Color Game. you just simply choose a color, place your bet, and if the cubes' color matched yours, YALA! your money will be doubled!

i grew up with these Perya experiences... as a child, we always go there, with my tita alice - our banker :)

i can remember how we sneak out at night, when our grandfather is already sleeping (because he doesnt want us to go there)... and how our grandma gives 'baon' (allowance) for her apos (grandchildren) for the rides. YES! Lola allowed us. but not Lolo :)

i had a lot of childhood memories at Perya... and all are happy memories.

during my recent vacation, luckily, the Perya in the nearby barrio is still open, and that gave me a chance to be the banker... i am now the tita (auntie) of these kids. its my time to pass to them my happy experiences in this wonderland...

shoot the coin at the center of each box and you'll win the prize written on the box (above)

shooting the balloons

basketball

target shooting

- these 2 boys are shooters! (kokoi and derick) i can bet for a thousand for them :)

admittedly, i was shocked with the big difference of Perya compared to my time...

the rides are much bigger and wilder (unfortunately, there is no more Ferris Wheel and Caterpillar) and the cost of the games and the rides are so so expensive!

yet they still give away the same candies...

Bingo still have the sala set as the grand prize...

and most of all, the same smile that lasted with me will now be forever in their hearts...

Perya symbolizes how simple Filipinos are... and the joy that Perya gives are not the material things that we get from playing, but the happiness and wonderful memories as you spend time with the kids and the kids at heart :)

night of forever

tatay, nanay, kuya and tita elsa fetched me at the airport.

its passed midnight when we arrived home. kids were all sleeping...

that night, it was soooo dark... as we reached the door and turn on the lights, this is what i first saw...

touching, isnt it?

made by my 11 years old nephew, derick...

then, i rushed towards their room... just a couple of hugs and kisses, and they were all awake.

at first was silence, they were just staring at me, as if they were thinking if i am real.

derick *erica * exxon

after the realization... they all stood up, and we all went down to the kitchen...
cant wait for my favorites :)

sinigang (above) daing (below) na BANGUS!
pork HAMONADO (above) MUSTASA (below)

now, you can imagine how BIG i am, after that 2 lllllllllooonnnggg and lovely weeks...

after the delicious meal that i missed for 18 months, we opened my lagguage and gave away the pasalubong (gifts)...

as i can recall when we were kids, its the best part, everytime my ninang and tita bunso arrives :)

their excitement were priceless. how i wish i could give more...

yet, i had bloopers with my presents... our bunso suddenly wanted a gameboy since his Kuya got PSP and Ate got Nintendo, it was my mistake not to give him the same....

it kills me everytime i see this photo... he was so disappointed :(

but i gave him a remote control car that is zero gravity something *&^$@#!!! well, its cool! believe me! not the usual RC Cars, this time, its climbing, and even on the ceiling, upside down!

after some explanations and promises that he'll have his gameboy when i come back... and after checking his zerO gravitiy s#$%^&*thing, here he is...

proud as ever... with his new toy :)

that night, it was a lllloooonnnnggg happppppyy:) :) unforgetttttaabbbble night...
one great moment that will forever be on my heart... the feeling of being home again.
the warm welcome of my family... the happiness that somehow, even for a short period of time, we were together again.

Dubai - EK 333 - 19 Feb 09

Exactly 3 weeks ago.

Burj Dubai showed me a different look as half of it was hiding behind clouds... as if I should take a look at it from up above, since it was the day of my flight.

burj dubai view from jumeirah 2 (canon ixus)

God just love me so much... aside from the very good weather, there were no traffic jams along Sheikh Zayed Road, which seldom happens on weekdays. this was around 730AM and usually, it should be an office hour rush.

here's another glimpse of Burj Dubai as we pass the now called - Downtown Burj Dubai, just along Sheikh Zayed Road.

we reached the aiport around 8AM. ETD was 1030AM. just on the right time to settle everything. or rather, we were early, since there was no queue in the new Dubai Airport (Terminal 3) which is exclusive for Emirates Airlines.

i should have took more photos, but admittedly, i was russsshhhhhing... i still need to buy somethings from duty free... :)

>>>

and so, we were on board.

and ready for take off...

i was quite disappointed... for i was seated in the middle, not at the window side. though, i was able to steal some photos. i extended my arms towards the window while my seatmate was sleeping :)

yet, most of the time, he was awake since it was a morning flight... thanks to ICE for the entertainment... i watched 'bugs life' and 'toy story' :)

and the COLD or VERY COLD food was served... just on time after the first movie... as expected, it is best to sleep after meal... i'll be needing a lot of energy as soon as i reach home.

after 2 movies, 2 meals and one snack...

finally, we reached Manila. ETD 10:50PM (MLA time).

during this time... i dont know why my heart was beating fast. as if its my first time in the Philippines. the excitement was all around me... i cant wait to see them.

and again, im sorry... but as soon as we landed, i kept my camera on my bag...

i was on a hurry... and i know you'll understand :)

recharged

hello!

i just came back from holidays... or rather, from home :)
yes. the longest and most memorable 2 weeks of my life.
as as the saying goes, NO PLACE LIKE HOME and for me,
NO FOOD BETTER THAN MY MOTHER'S DISHES...

admittedly, i got a little... hmmm... a little MORE bigger and of course, darker...
but more than that, i am definitely recharged.

i've got a lot of pictures and stories to share... and i'm sorry if i did not post it from time to time. its because i kept myself off from the computer... tried to resist the temptation and gave my full attention and time to my family and friends whom i havent seen for quite long time. (i know u'll understand...)

and besides, i will have time to post my blogs, starting today, since i almost finished the tons of paperworks that were thrown on my desk... stuck up for 15 days :) which made me so much happy, knowing that there were a lot of works waiting for me... means, i still have my job :)

maybe, all will be back to normal... in few more hours.
my story telling will start tomorrow.

i just cant resist to post...
and maybe, i miss thing called blog :)

most beautiful flower

"A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another.

If these minds love one another, the home will be as beautiful as the flower in the garden..."

- Buddha

Harvest Time Homecare

"HOME is not where you live, but where they understand you." - Christian Morganstern

you've read a lot of my 'missing home' blogs. those gloomy days when i wished hard, seeking relief, hoping that i can come home... my sad tuesdays, the home sickness that i felt during Christmas season...

at some point, i was out of myself... during those times, i felt really incomplete. i wanted to have my life back, the way it used to be... im longing for the comfort of my bed at my room, wanting to hug my pillows. everyday was so hard, the desire to come home makes my life, somehow, miserable.

until i realized that, home is not just our exact address in Philippines. It is where my dreams continues to grow, and turns out to be a reality. it is the place where i can find peace and comfort and confidence and happiness... that it is where i can be me. that is my home! i found my new home recently, and now, i am complete, happy, satisfied and comfortable.

____________________

HARVEST TIME HOMECARE II is not my home. but it is open to all those who need one.

Address: 9913 Glade Ave. Chatsworth, CA 91311
Phone: 818-773-0071

Administrator: Leticia Victorio

Phone: 818-624-1443

Our facility is committed to assisting people with developmental disabilities, helping them to develop and enhance skills necessary for daily living. We believe that challenging behaviors are just means of communicating likes and dislikes.

It is our goal to teach a more socially acceptable means of communicating and, at the same time, reduce or eliminate challenging behavior. We help our consumers achieve more efficient lifestyles by increasing their exposure to the possibilities and opportunities at home and in the community.

We at Harvest Time Homecare II provide consumers with a safe and comfortable living environment and treat them with the utmost respect and dignity.

______________

should you know anybody needing a special care, please refer HT Homecare. Thank you.

Gaze on Gaza

Fighting rages in Gaza
Troops pushed deeper into Gaza in a day of fierce fighting on Sunday as Israel brushed off continuing global protests but indicated an end was in sight to its war on the Palestinian enclave since most of its strategic objectives were close to being fulfilled.
Civilians again fell victim to Israel's brutal offensive that has left more than 900 people in the Gaza Strip dead in the 16-day-old war, including 275 children. Two women and four children were killed in a strike on a house in Beit Lahiya, medics and witnesses said, while 12 bodies were pulled from the rubble in Tal Al Hawa.

photo c/o business week

i certainly do not know how this begun... i am clueless of what they are fighting for, aside from Gaza... all i know is that the victims reached almost a thousand innocent people. children were deprived by the right to live and see these beautiful world... parents loses their kids... kids loses parents.
it will be over soon... since they already hit the major targets?!? or maybe it really should end soon, because no more soldiers were left alive... no more people to live in Gaza...
it must be a decade of pain that made Israeli's heart exploded with revenge... years of mourning for being prisoned from freedom and rights.
and the Palestines, caught off guard... unaware that the planted a seed of reprisal from the Israelis and will reap hostilities that can wash out their community.
admittedly, i dont know the details... what is clear to me is that - this is WAR. and what i understood about it is that war arises due to unsettled terms.
whether its military war, civilian war, religious war... even personal war.
war is a result of seeking revenge, claiming un served justice.
i know that Palestine is suffering and will suffer more after these tragedies... almost everybody hates Israel...
i am not being biased. its not of who is right & wrong... good or bad...
its not finding who to blame.

this time, we should be awakened by different wars that happened all over the world. its not just about killing... but fighting for each others' rights, principles, freedom.

everybody will emerge a loser in this war

nothing will be left but the pain and suffering of the innocent victims.

and the hope that somehow, the battle cry of the warriors will be heard and will be recognized...

New Home for Christmas

we moved out.
but have not move in yet.

there is this one week transition before we start making the house our home...

for a year and 3 months, i have kept this feeling that everything here is just temporary.
well, that is a fact in general.
but what i meant was... this place.
this life... living away from home is temporary.
and i dont need to feel comfortable with it because its not permanent.

as we were looking for new place last week.
i was somehow disturbed... confused... i dont exactly know what i was looking for.
i dont have a picture in mind of what i want to have... not because i am clueless, but more than that, i dont know what to consider. whatever comes first?

before we moved out, we went to church. after few months of not attending the service, it was a relief. i was recharged...

ooopppsss, dont worry... i am not going to write the whole sermon!

just a piece of what reflects on me.

the pastor emphasized the value of being part of a cell group in church... in which you have to register to be a part of the church. admittedly, i am one of those who doesnt want to register, thinking that i have a local church at home... which is in Bulacan.

i am attending... as a guest?!

but he said, we are not. we should accept this place as our new home since we are legal resident of this country... and we are staying here... living a life here... we should understand that this is now home, for us.

and he is right. of course!

for 15 months... i was thinking of going home, where my childhood photos were... thinking of my favorite blankets & my pillows... dreaming of my bed...
and ignoring the things that i have at present... these 'temporary' things that i am using everyday and for few more years from now.

my parents will always be my home...

but what i have right now. wherever i am. i should also call it home.

this enlightens me... and after the service, i found peace of mind...
i can somehow enjoy the few more years here.

and can make myself feel at home, especially this Christmas :)

2006

the last Christmas that i can remember...

sometimes, i keep asking why we have to leave?

why do we need to sacrifice our time?

minutes that should be spent with our loved ones.

seconds that can last forever with them just slips away from our palm...

and being far, we tend to wish that time must run fast...

that we hope the day will be over in a snap...

we dont want to check the clock, no more counting the minutes that past.

instead, looking forward to the next weeks... months... years...

until the day that we arrive home again.

a month of vacation will be a lifetime memory.

few days with them and it will all be heaven's glory.

i wonder why life is a misery... why do we need live in agony.

i am longing for their hugs & kisses...

i cant wait to hear the sound when they giggle...

and at times that they are in pain...

i want to be with them to wipe their tears away.

but in this life that i am taking...

i dont know until when will i be missing...

those moments with them that i know is running...

because soon, they are also leaving.

i hope one day, i can shout STOP!

i can take a seat, and be relaxed.

if given a chance or a wish maybe...

i'll wish that we are together again, my whole family.