The season of prayer and penitence...
Time of commemorating the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.

As the whole Christian world observes the Holy Week, many tends to forget the real meaning of the season... Most family were already booked for the much awaited week long vacation. Friends have their parties set... Although the traditional practices were still observed (esp. in Phils.), it was more of gimik and happenings instead of remembering what Jesus had been through and understand why He suffered on the cross.

Living in a Muslim country is becoming more difficult in times like this, when Christians should be in churches for service and activities or doing some penitence, we are inside our offices, just as another ordinary day...
I missed the days of watching 'The Ten Commandments', times when we are just at home and Nanay reads the Bible, or attending Bible study lead by our Lolo Marciano.

More than the usual vacation, as Christians, we are longing for the Spirit of the Holy Week... Moments when we can reflect and repent and give service to others. Observing the good examples that Jesus demonstrated to us.

Though being on this part of the world, surrounded by non-believers, it won't be a hindrance for us take part and rekindle our faith... deep in our hearts, we continuously give thanks for all His sacrifices...

"This is how God showed His love among us; He sent His One and Only Son into the world that we might live through Him." -1 John 4:9

They Stick On Me

I am back to work.
And still under medications...

My recent check up with Urologist regarding my 'rubies' has good results. As expected, my right kidney is now clear and no more 'gems' :) the one on the left are 'about to leave'... :) or up to date, it should've passed out already.

The endoscopy took place after my Uro check up. I can remember how nervous I was... my heart was pounding fast. Everything was clear to me, from wearing the gown and cap, lying down on the bed, checking BP, nurse explaining the procedure, dextrose, entering the Endoscopy room, all the apparatus inside, the oxygen tube, the mouth piece, throat spray, injection of anesthesia... then I fall asleep.

I woke up inside the SSU (Short Stay Unit) with my bestfriend (Erika) beside me... taking some pictues of me. When I was fully conscious, 2 of our friends (Eric and Maoo) went inside too and awaken me with their witty stories.

After some time, the nurse gave the results - the findings... I don't remember the actual medical terms but as what I understood it has something to do with my Ulcer. Hmmmmm... Bile Reflux Gastritis! and the other one, I really cannot recall ... anyways, what is important and very clear is that there is nothing serious... I just have to continue with the medications.

I've researched about my condition, and it says:

Bile reflux

Bile is a greenish-yellow fluid that's essential for digesting fats and for eliminating worn-out red blood cells and certain toxins from your body. It's produced in your liver and stored in your gallbladder in a highly concentrated form.
Eating a meal that contains even a modest amount of fat signals your gallbladder to release bile, which flows through two small tubes (cystic duct and common bile duct) into the upper part of your small intestine (duodenum).

Bile reflux into the stomach
At the same time that bile is entering the duodenum, food enters your small intestine through the pyloric valve, a heavy ring of muscle located at the outlet of your stomach. Ordinarily, the pyloric valve opens just slightly — enough to release about an eighth of an ounce (about 3.5 milliliters) of liquefied food at a time, but not enough to allow digestive juices to backup (reflux) into the stomach. In many cases of bile reflux, the valve doesn't close properly, and bile backwashes into the stomach, where it causes irritation and inflammation (gastritis).

What leads to bile reflux?
Peptic ulcers. Sometimes a peptic ulcer can block the pyloric valve. Rather than not closing tightly, the valve doesn't open enough to allow the stomach to empty as quickly as it should. The stagnant food and liquid in the stomach can lead to increased gastric pressure that causes refluxed bile and stomach acid to back up into the esophagus.

Source: mayoclinic

Actually, these 2 health problems was already with me for a long time. I was first diagnosed with Peptic Ulcer when I was still in high school and kidney stones during college. Through grace of God, I was healed then and now.

'Rubies' recur maybe because I really like salty foods... my meal always comes with fish sauce or soy sauce. I guess I have to say goodbye to that :( my eating habit wont be the same without 'patis', but I woudn't trade my kidneys for that!
My ulcer, never left me since then. I have been very cautious with this but it really does stick on me! I understand that my bad habits before usually triggered its attack... and maybe, I am now reaping all the negative effects. I have been living a healthier life (no smoke, no alcohol, 1 coffee a day) for almost 6 months now, but I noticed that my ulcer attack are getting worst.

Maybe because it is adjusting? Maybe my stomach is not used to being clean :) :) :)
or whatever it may be, I know that it will soon be over, and I will be well.

Despite the pain, I am glad that I quit.
I am now adjusting to a  'clean and green' life and I know that this pain is nothing compared to more serious diseases that I might get from those vices.

God saved me.
He picked me up at the right time, before the bad habits ruined me totally.

I believe that my body is just in the 'cleansing' process, and soon, all the ''leftovers' will be gone. Fears have no room inside me. I have dealt with this sickness before, it means nothing, especially now, knowing that God is embracing me...

"Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security."
Jeremiah 33:6

Whatever is Inside Me

I still don't know...

It's my 10th day of medication.
And I really can't say that I am well or even I am better.

I am OK. Well, everything is the same...
Aside from taking some medicines, I am still fine.

It's just that I am more conscious with every strange (and normal - that I thought was strange) things that I feel from within... behind these bellies :)

Well, I must admit that I am a bit troubled with the thought of 'endoscopy' which was scheduled 5 days from now... I prayed for it, that if it is really needed, He will let the insurance approve it, and if not necessary, then it will be declined. I want to think that it was granted to give me peace of mind... to confirm that everything is normal.

I am bothered with this sedation and anesthesia and hospital bed and medicine tablets.... grrrrrrrrrr! I am not used to it. That hospital smell makes me sick!!! but I have to undergo such test... and I am looking forward on the day that I won't feel anything abnormal on my tummy again.

Somehow, I have this 2% excitement to know and understand why I am having this pain. My curiosity keeps me thrilled and gives me courage to do it.

I know I'll be fine in there. I am safe because God is in charge...
There might be some dilemma but I know that He is there for me.

When the sun was setting, the people brought to Jesus all who had various kinds of sickness, and laying his hands on each one, he healed them.
Luke 4:40

Forever Grateful

For quite sometime now, there's a pain in my abdomen...
Last weekend, I underwent an abdominal ultrasound, and discovered that I have 'gems' on my kidneys... 5mm on the left and tiny 'gravels' on the right.

Nothing to worry. Everything is fine.
I am now under medications and in 2 weeks time, there will be another ultrasound to check... and in Jesus' name, I know that it will be gone...

Though as per my Urologist, the pain is not coming from those 'rubies' (as I call it), but maybe from my Colon... and so I haveto see another doctor, a Gastroenterologist - which I already called for an appointment, that is 2 days from now. I will let you know... :)

I am smiling... because I know that I will be well, soon.
and I am grateful because I believe that this is just another test of my faith in Him... and I will not be shaken.

For the past months... life seems to be perfect for me and my family. Our hearts are filled with joy... there are a lot of reasons to celebrate. And we are thankful that we are so blessed.
I don't say that this is the payment for that (as we sometime thinks that in every happiness, there is sadness afterwards)... because I believe that this is another blessing for me, as God will use me to show His healing power as He removes these diseases away from my body.

God gives me trial so that I will continually cling onto His hands, and forever keep in touch with Him. Day by day, I know that He moves into my life... and through these circumstances, behind all these pain, I am molded and hardened to become a better individual - to be called His child.

"He knows the way I take;
  when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.

My feet have closely followed His steps;
   I have kept to His way without turning aside."

Job 23:10-11


Wondered why I was not posting much for the past weeks?

First is because we are business as usual. Thank God that our client approved huge projects that were proposed for 2010. It feels great to be productive again here in the office.
And after some renovations, firing and hiring of management bosses, and few cake slicing for birthday celebrators... we are back to business. Though more changes are expected to take place in the coming weeks, I am ready :)

But aside from the work... I got engaged on other more important things.
Its been a month of Thursday meetings... and I got hooked to it.

What's the meeting all about???

After being Christian for almost 20 years (since I was born again and baptized), I finally said I do.

I do... to the commitment of learning - Bible study, which I ignored for the longest time (esp. in our church in Phils.) Though I had my own 'selfish' reasons before, I know that it's not acceptable.
Being a proud believer; I always and always say that my faith can move mountains... yet, there is still an empty space... I am still thirsty to learn more...

Part of the big blessing from finding a church in our new place (which made me - simply happy),  is being part of the young adults group who also wants to know Him more... we quenched our thirst by organizing a weekly meeting to study.

After few weeks, I realized that there are still a lot of things that I need to learn... and I found myself falling in love to this reality. I am inspired to know more and share those knowledge with you.

I am hungry, and He continously feed me. I am in love and He hugs me sooo tight and loved me more. I am happy and thankful for this happiness, knowing that He is the source of this peace.

I am free and I couldn't ask for more.

"Jesus said, 'If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.
Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free."
John 8:31:32
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