I was 27 when I entertained the idea of working abroad and finally accepted the challenge.
There were many reasons why I want to leave... I've shared it several times through the pages of this blogs. All my dreams, my plans, my success, my failures and frustrations.
You've witnessed how Kali emerges; from the dark cloudy night until the beautiful sunshine kissed my life.
Today. I turned 32.
And I do not know what's with this age that makes me sentimental and emotional...
I browsed my journal before I started this post; there I read that I got my passport on my birthday.
That page is full of dreams. I thank God for the gift - my passport which will pave way to start another chapter of my life. There were positive thoughts about my plans of going to UAE. I'll make it big, I will continue to race... I will focus on my goal. I will be successful in my field...
It's all about me then. My strength, my capabilities and what I can do. I wanted my parents to be proud of me, because I am somebody. I was determined.
Never did I know that it wasn't my plan at all. That God has a better plan for my life... or rather, He has the best plan that I can never imagine.
Looking back at my journal, on the same page was a thank you note to God. For my life, for my so called treasures which are my loved ones. I thanked God that we are together... and that made me complete.
Reading my note all over again made me realize how self centered I was... for all that I have, I thanked Him, yet I never thank Him for my life, for His guidance, for His love.
I mentioned there that I am complete, yet in reality, I was empty...
But despite of my stubbornness, God has blessed me then... and yes, He never abandoned me. At the time when I was blinded, He was there, guiding me. At the time when I thought that I made it by myself, He supported me all the way. He never leave me at the time when I chose to leave Him.
Moving forward, 5 years after that, I was overhauled...
God moved mightily in my life. I am not the same person who wrote on that journal before.
He changed me; God transformed me...
Yesterday was my last day of being 31.
As I move the pages of my life, you will no longer see another plan written on the pages... but a clean space allotted for God's handwriting.
And all I have to do is just to submit to His will.
To surrender fully, because He is my God.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.