Am I Late?

Let me start my first blog of 2011 by a late greeting of  
A Blessed New Year to you and your family!!! 
I hope and pray that my blog reached you, just on time...

Why am I late?
How come I missed posting blogs for Christmas day and New Year on this page?
 
2010 for me is one of the best year of my life.
I was able to enjoy life.
I still have my family, my relatives and my friends... all in good condition.
And most of all, I have God and He keeps me.

What else can I ask for?
 
Many...

It's been a year now since I started joining a Bible study group. Every Thursday, as we meet up, there are new questions that arises on my mind and my heart seeks the answers... feelings that I never felt before.

Slowly, as we seek the WORD, we discover how great our God is...
I love Him. Jesus is the One and Only love of my life.
I trust Him. I have said many times that my faith can move mountains.
I longed to be with Him. To worship and praise Him with all my heart. 

Yet, there is still something inside of me that desires for more...

For the past weeks -- during the season of reflection. My silence brought me to another dimension.
Everyday, I opened this account... started to write... but ended up deleting the page. Something is bothering me, but I didn't understand it first. It's from within...

I prayed.
He replied.

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What else can I ask for?

I need a clean heart. A guilt-free mind.
I need forgiveness... from myself, from the people that I hurt, and those who caused me pain.
As I fold and throw away the calendar of the past, I attached all the excess baggage that was on my back for quite some time.

I asked for a heart that forgives. 
Now, I can say that I am totally free. It may be 6, 10, or 4 years of misunderstanding... All those that I've  carried for years -- locked in the 'hatred box' inside my heart, was finally released.
Yes. It took me that long... Am I late?
As I surrendered them all to Him... He threw it all away.
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What else can I ask for?

In my prayers, I have always asked Him to use me on His Kingdom. May the works of my hands give Him glory and my gifts and talents be used for Him alone.
And I waited for His answer. Its been years of trying to devote 'some' of my time to church.
I tried hard... because I want to. But I failed, many times.

Why is it too difficult to please Him? For the past years of my life, I have wanted to serve Him. But there is something that stops me from doing it. Am I late? Is my time over?

My longing to work for Him is not the same as responding to His call.
Doing things my way will never be called serving Him. Rather, it is self-serving... for I do things that I want to... and not what I was asked to do.

A heart that obeys.
Finally, I was able to understand the real meaning of serving and obedience.
Following His will... Obeying His commands.
The pleasure of being His servant is the greatest honor that a person can receive.
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What else can I ask for?

Many...

I know there are more to come!!!

It might take another decade for me to learn and understand... but it's fine.
Am I late for that?
 ... I guess not.
  
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¹² I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.

¹³ That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 

Ecclesiastes 3:12-13