I've Been Waiting For Hours...

and I've been waiting for months!!!

This conversation is happening now, 2 account directors pass by while chasing for the IT guy. Both have laptop issues... and they can no longer wait.

Few weeks back, I had an argument with another account manager, regarding the time and urgency. We share the same designer; and the designer informed me that my AW was done and ready for release, upon my signature / approval. I told him that I was in the middle of an urgent and important thing that I cannot go up that very moment. I don't even remember asking him to wait as he can do another thing until I come and check.

BrATTLEFIELD

In circumstances where my temper is being tested, I really feel that our God listens to my prayers...

Yesterday was a long day for me... and not so favorable on my side, unlike the recent days. Admittedly, I was affected with certain confrontation with my colleague and some people who seems to be less professional than the rest. And until now, it can't get over with it! whew!!!

From yesterday, until this very moment... I am praying for patience and understanding. I am so cautious about my temper, not because I don't want to go down to her level (-that is how I used to think) but because I want to be obedient to Him and that people will see that I am different because Christ is living in my heart. I want Him to be glorified...

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life." -Philippians 2:14-16

And this is what I always pray for... that He will continuously mold me to be righteous - to be called His child. I want to learn how to 'love thy neighbors' and to be patient... I really hope I can be somebody that He will be proud of...

This is my struggle, my constant prayer.

Currently, here in our workplace, I can really feel that He moves to grant my request. As I eagerly asked for Him to teach me how to be serene, He put me on situations that tests my faith and practice my patience.

I read this in heartlight - 'I tell you, if you are serious about wanting to be like Christ, He is going to put you in circumstances where your only choice is to become like Him.' - Francis Frangipane

And I certainly agree.

I am now in the battlefield, struggling to fight with my own personality. Dealing with bratts, including me...

Patience is better than pride...
I envy people who are patient. Those who easily forgive and forget.
I am not like them, but I am trying, and I am praying...

Period

A close friend of mine wants to end her relationship... not because there is a problem with her partner nor they fall out of love... there is no third party nor any career or business crisis... no family issues either.

The simple reason is because of the thought that "relationship don't lasts"... that FOREVER won't be achieved... worries that time will come that the relationship will end.

Indeed, there are basis... knowing that some people and relationships come and go.

That there is no permanent 'thing' nor secured future that we can grasp.

It applies to all. Whether you are in relationship or wanting to be in relationship, no one is secured. We cannot guarantee tomorrow... and as I have said, Forward March! What we only have is today.

My friend is so afraid for the coming days... guarding her heart to be broken on a thought that didn't happen yet... wants to end the beautiful relationship that she have because of her fears... Breaking her heart because she is frightened to be wrecked...

In our own situations, at some point, we all have felt the same...

We have made decisions not because we want to achieve something, but because we are avoiding somethings...

We assume. We expect and we tend to forget what we have TODAY.

Like life, everything ends... death comes like a thief in the night... we don't know when, but we know it will happen.

In the right time, periods will be punctuated in our own stories... but in the bottom... we still have the whole page, the whole chapters to fill up. We should not be threatened.

What readers read is not that small dot in the end, but the words written, the phrases, the paragraphs.

So while we can choose the letters to make a sentence on our own pages...  let's enjoy this blessing, our freedom to live each day, making the best stories of our lives, day by day.

Let us not rush towards the end because there is present that we still need to make...

---o0o---

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Embarrassed

I had several "embarrassing moments" in my life...
Bloopers that can be compiled or added to funny komiks!

But the three most embarrassing are my conveys with my nephew, Derick...

The first one happened about 6 months ago... when I was talking with him, after his operation (when he had a motorcycle accident).
I can clearly recall how I cried, every time I hear his voice, the pain, the fear that I had while he was in the hospital...
And there was this one time that right after one of his operations, he was conscious when they brought him out from the OR. My mother told me that I can talk to him, and so I did...

Me: How are you? Are you in pain?
Him: I am fine, Tita. I am numb... they injected anesthesia...
Then I started crying...
and he said: Don't cry, I am fine... I already prayed...

He is just 10 years old and lying on that hospital bed...

The second incident happened maybe just a month after the first. He was already home, on the stage of recovery, we were chatting... then he stopped and told me that the driver of the motorbike and his father were there to talk to my parents and brother...

I was 4,297 miles away from home, but when I knew that the man who almost took my nephew's future and brought problem to my family was there... I wished that I can fly and reach home at that moment to slap his face and get vengeance for what he does.

And when Derick was back online... I asked him:

Me: What happened? Are they gone?
Him: Yes, they left already. They talked.
Me: Are you Ok? How did you feel upon seeing that guy?
Him: Nothing.
Me: Are you angry?
Him: No. It was an accident.

He was still healing then, and the wounds were still fresh.

The third happened just yesterday... still online as we were chatting.
He told me that he will finish his assignments first, and will just buzz me when he's done.
After like three hours, he went back and gave a buzz...

Him: Hello! Sorry, it took me so long. I fell asleep because I was so annoyed!
Me: Why? What happened?
Him: Because Eca (his sister) threw a slipper and hit my head.
Me: Oh! Maybe it was an accident.
Him: Yes, it was...

Then he told me that he will try one game online, and will buzz me again after...
I know he was not OK.
If that happened to me, I'm sure my brother and I will fight...

After some time, I buzzed him:
Me: Are you mad at Eca?
Him: No. It's fine. There is nothing I can do.

I know that my nephew look up to me. We are so close. Everyday, he gives me a buzz to say Hi. To remind me not to miss a meal or to have a rest once in a while. He will send audible hugs and kisses at times that I am busy. And never ashame of telling me that he loves and misses me.

Yet he don't know that there are many things that I learned from him.
All this time, I know that my faith can move mountains... yet his can't only move but can transform mountains..
I know how to forgive, but it will take me some time to do that. There are people that I didn't greeted for years... yet for him, the guy who hit him and gave so much pain physically and emotionally was easily forgiven.
And the sibling fight... for me, I won't let it pass without doing the same... yet he knows that he needs to be more patient to them.

If I sounded like a proud tita... well, maybe I am.
And I'm thankful that his parents... and grandparents... and tita :) raised him well.
I am praying that those traits that I admire won't change, as he grow up...

"Train a child in the way he should go, & when he is old he will not depart from it."

Proverbs 22:6

Patience is better than Pride

Patience.
it is the greatest of all virtues.
the mother of will.
the companion of wisdom.
the art of hoping.
it conquers all things - the best remedy for trouble!

Pride.
sullies the noblest character.
the first peer & the president of hell.
an admission of weakness.
it slays thanksgiving.
it is a powerful narcotic - the last vice the good man gets clear of!

now, is my title justified? :)

I got that from - Ecclesiastes 7:8b
"Patience is better than pride."

its a fact.
hard to accept...
even harder to practice...

but a man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.

loving. waiting. believing.

others say that some good things never lasts...
or is it really good enough?

i read something that says:
"Never say goodbye when you still want to try; never give up when you still feel you can't take it. Never say you don't love the person anymore when you can't let go."

until when can you wait? how much patience do you need?
can you still hold on and believe?

when all the people around tells you to stop... would you?

at some point, you were brave.
all you want is to prove that everybody is wrong, and what you believe is right...
and you have all the time to do that.
then, you became weary... all the while, you started to ask yourself.
is it worth it? how far can you go? isnt love enough?
until one day... you found yourself giving up.
putting an end to that great love... convincing yourself that it was.

being thankful that it happened.
you thought it was the end.
but no goodbyes... right?
you are just about to start.

true love doesnt have a happy ending...
because true love never ends.