A for Effort

Few days back, I wasn't sure if I was just experiencing another 'holiday hang-over' -- but that was not the first time that I felt bored at work... it's all over my head and I felt that I do not want to create another job nor talk to anyone regarding work again.

I missed the thrill... the excitement in coming to the office everyday.
Everything seems monotonous... numbers and computation irritates me... not to mention some people who I felt were insatiable and so insensitive. I know it was alarming -- because I started to hate my job :(

I somehow felt depressed... but I have to drag myself to go to work. There are days when I will just sit and stumble at the net, replying only to urgent matters... the rest of the jobs... I just ignore them. My self-esteem was so low... thinking that this is not the job for me...

Everything changed after one phone conversation that I had with my Ninang.

Actually it felt weird that time because she asked me several times about my work... I think until the 3rd time, I said that everything was OK. Then in the middle of another topic, she again asked how my work is... then I opened up.

I requested for her to pray for me because I want to look for another job. I told her what I feel and the boredom started to kill me here... she understood me, she knew that I am not an office person who can just sit and do computations... I came from media working with 3-4 TV shows... and I really missed the action.

Then she asked me where it was coming from; do I want an increase or a promotion? I quickly replied NO. Because its not what I really wanted... and what is it, I still am not aware.
Am I on the crossroad again? I really do not know...

I told her how lazy I am in doing my duties... well, not that I do not work at all, but I really did not put even an inch of effort to make things better. One job request - one result. You can get what you want, no more, no less.

Ninang reminded me that I should give my best in all that I do... then I told her that I don't want to waste my time and energy since I am 'hoping' to move somewhere...

She told me that I should remember that it is God who placed me here... and I should return the favor to Him by doing good in the position that He entrusted on me. In everything that I do, it is Him that should be glorified. Even on the smallest job to be done, I must remember that it is for Him.

Another thing is the legacy... in case that God will send me to another company, it would be better that they will remember me and my performance on an excellent mark.

Every person will leave a legacy... and its up to us whether we want it good or bad -- but it is in our hands. We have a choice and we must work on whatever legacy we will leave.

In TV, we usually say - 'You are as good as your last show.' Because that last show will be the one people will always remember... that final performance before we sign off...

Ninang also shared some of her experiences before the phone line was cut...

While I was listening to her, something inside me was awakened. My love for work and the day that I first stepped in this office flashed back. I remember how grateful I was to be part of the largest advertising company in the region - handling one of the biggest brands in the world. What else can I ask for? :(

After our conversation, I took a cup of coffee... and once again, started to walk along the corridors, absorbing Ninang's words. As I reached my desk, I whispered a prayer of gratitude...

Today, I know I am still not at my best... but I have improved -- and I deserve an A for the effort... :)

I do not drag myself to work every morning... and as the sun sets, I know it was a better day...

It is God to whom and with whom we travel, and while He is at the end of our journey,

He is also at every stopping place.

-Elisabeth Elliot