Unbonded

I'm intact... or just 'I thought' I was?

It's the 12th day of Ramadan...
the silence and boredom here in the office is killing me!
it should be fun... less work load and less working hours.
plus the benefit of still eating during break (hidden of course) just makes it greater...
and what could be the best than not having a boss at all :)

but then, again... I miss the stress.
I miss cramming.
I miss the last minute and 'wait for a minute' call to the service driver informing him that 'Hey, I'm coming!'
I miss the 'OK, well take the 2nd trip... I still have to finish something...'
and I miss the "wattaday' scene here in the office...

its OK to miss those, right? just for sometime.
but I don't say that I want them back... :-)

though i just realized that my workaholic attitude is still with me.
I observed it... I am trying to analyze myself... am I a 'just hyper' or an 'OC' or a really 'workaholic'?

I prefer the 3rd one... I am, self admittedly, indeed...  a workaddict!

Honestly, I just cant stop.
I prefer making myself busy with something... anything...  just to do a thing!

Few days back, I have started creating a new post here in KALI...
but just as relax as the office mood... my mind was enjoying the petics mode.
can't think of anything to write.... I have started few, but it just dont fit in.

I know there is something wrong... something is missing.
There is lot more than just work and rest. And I miss those in betweens...
I saw myself in a limbo... struggling in the dark...
I suddenly felt weak and incomplete.

More than the stress, there are some greater things that are missing...

Unfortunately, I have skipped attending our Friday service several times. Due to some "unavoidable circumstances :-) " and I also missed out some of our Thursday BS....

It was sad and frustrating... those unavoidable circumstances should've been avoided...
Just as I thought that I was bonded... I then realized that I was not.

I remember our previous discussion in Bible study...
HE is the bread of life; and we are fed by this through His words; through the fellowship.
Then I realized, I was sick, not physically, but Spiritually.
I lack vitamins... in just few days of not reading, I became too weak and sick...

Then, last night, I started to knock at the door of my heart... seek whether He is still there...
In silence, I found Him, waiting for me.

I know He missed me more than I missed Him.

Now, as in Now... things seems to be filing in order again.
Unconsciously, I just finished this post...
And with total truth, I can say that I am feeling a lot better than few hours back.
I am fine... I feel well... no more boredom :-)
I am finally back!!!

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it." -1 Corinthians 10:13