Kali : October 2008

for my older brother, ernan

today is his birthday.
and a great timing for me to shout to world how happy i am to be his favorite sister!!!
and for everybody to know how proud i am having him.

i cant find enough words to say...

he is more than enough for me. im so lucky!!!

love you nan!

Barracuda Beach - Umm Al Quwain

our neighbor, kuya jeff, introduced the Barracuda Beach to us.
he said its good place for crabbings...
and really have big crabs!

then we set a date - Nov. 6...we will go there - with them.

but 2 weeks before the set date...

our friend's parents went here for a visit.
one dinner, we discussed the barracuda island... and the fun of crabbing!
and we set another date. Oct. 24!

the problem: no one in the group knows crabbing!
the solution: canon + nikon = great pictures!
____________________________
meet the Zaragoza :)

ericson

george

erika

haidee

mamu mia & papu laurent

and our guests....

mark

mommy & daddy

WELCOME TO BARRACUDA :)

dubai by night

walking is a good exercise...
and it gives me the advantage of seeing this city's skyline.
being able to keep an eye on the fast phase development of Dubai.

every night, we walk - going home.
cheaper. better. more fun.
hassle free on taxi drivers...

and atleast we are able to inhale some fresh air!

its badly needed especially on these busy days...

lets walk together, let me show you the way...

we're home now...

see these hammerSSS (1-2-3) outside?

NOT OURS! :)

Patience is better than Pride

Patience.
it is the greatest of all virtues.
the mother of will.
the companion of wisdom.
the art of hoping.
it conquers all things - the best remedy for trouble!

Pride.
sullies the noblest character.
the first peer & the president of hell.
an admission of weakness.
it slays thanksgiving.
it is a powerful narcotic - the last vice the good man gets clear of!

now, is my title justified? :)

I got that from - Ecclesiastes 7:8b
"Patience is better than pride."

its a fact.
hard to accept...
even harder to practice...

but a man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.

seeking relief

i am feeling tired today. i dont know why.
i was trying to think of the reasons...
maybe, this is just one of my mood swings.

i just came back from a smoke break, went outside the building.
i've seen several birds flying freely in the air.
as if searching for something or looking for someone...

they move without restraint.
they go wherever they want... they are soaring high!

"wish i was a bird?" hahaha...
sometimes.

i envied their freedom - their moves.
as if nothing else matters when they fly.
and the best part is... they know the way home afterwards.

these are my stock photos, taken last summer.

i dont know if what im feeling is really jealousy.

but at some point, i know we all should be... (not just me)

tree story

i once hated this tree...
during fall (as if we have fall)... ok when all its leaves fell on the ground.
and since its located in front of our villa, we are in charged!

i also suggested to have it cutted.
that was during summer, since i dont stay long outside.
for me, this is what it seems to be...

i cant find its beauty.
the leaves, its fruits (i dont know if it is...) and the flowers that easily dries up and soiled our surroundings... duhhhh!!!!
i just want to get rid of it!!!
until one day...

i realized that somehow, the flowers are good...
only if i will just try to appreciate.
it will look better...

and if i will just be more grateful...
it will also give some delight in return :)

and its simple.
most of the time, we expect so much that we forget to appreciate things that we have.
we sometimes have a perfect illusion of what beauty is all about, that's why it becomes harder for us to recognize one.

i am crazy hoping to see sunflowers and calla lilies... forgetting that all this time, what i know is that only cactus and dates tress can stand in the desert.

and i overlooked its beauty and i still enjoy the shade of this tree and have its flowers for my photography... :)

Kali - Dekada

KALI is one of the most well known and worshipped Hindu Goddesses. It is derived from the Hindu word that means "time", and that also means "black". In Hinduism, is a manifestation of the Divine Mother, which represents the female principle. Frequently, those not comprehending her many roles in life call Kali the goddess of destruction. She destroys only to recreate, and what she destroys is sin, ignorance and decay. She is equated with the eternal night, is the transcendent power of time…

For me, KALI is mainly a combination of names.
Me and my best friend… very elementary huh!

But this name has brought us in a decade of togetherness…
being one, being Kali.

KA is also term for Kapatid (brethren) which you can call Ka Lizzie...

When I first search for the meaning of this, I found BLACK…
I was stunned. Without reading first the whole content, I was thinking of changing it.

Then I browsed another… It says GOD of DESTRUCTION…
Whaaaaaaaaat??? My precious name… the US means destruction?
Hmmm.

I continue researching - read several interpretations.
I liked the one I pasted on top…
It’s for me to choose. My choice wins. This is my blog after all :)

But what’s really with the name? What goes with it?
Does the meaning of your name reflect in you?
It is identity.
But, should you be identified to what your identity means?

I don’t know if some of you also did what I’ve done.
And I don’t know if it makes sense...

But I’ve learn something; that everything on earth have corresponding meaning. In one way or another (through the net, specially) you will find some response to those unanswered questions, or just know something for the heck of it!

And I realized that the value of identity is that so often with it, comes purpose.
It’s not the meaning.
Identity seems to be the garment with which one covers the nakedness of the self…
the shadow where people hide to escape the sunlight.

We don't have to be too cautious in keeping and maintaining our identity.
I believe it is better to persevere in keeping its integrity.
It is not really WHAT we are. It is more important to know WHO we are.

Our KALI has survived a lot of struggles... storms come & go… different chapters… test of faith… phases of life… growing up… We have tagged a lot of names to the trials that we encounter…

and it is not over yet,
we know and we need to prepare...
but these trials, are the base of our identity – a being of worth & dignity.

keep discovering

not most of the people i know, knew that i am fond of writing...
not until i started this blog site.

i am not good, that i know.
but my passion for this has been with me since i first learn how to read & write.
i won a lot of writing competitions way back in grade school & high school...
i graduated with a degree of Journalism :)

maybe its just not so obvious with my personality, but i am very sentimental & emotional. people may find me cool, fun, tough... but deep inside, i am not.

i have a compilation of my poems, since grade 1, started short stories in highschool, and a novel during college. it was kept... in the middle of the ocean. nobody read those. just me.

when i was working in the broadcast company, things changed. or maybe... i was just too busy with other things... trying to analyze what my future will be, studying my career path, trying new fields, and somehow trying to be somebody that was not really me.
opportunity came in. different profession. another calling...
i was never too tired to study. my life was a complete season of learning.
i have received masteral degree of experiences. trial & error.
but giving up is not listed on my dictionary.

most say that writers dont like numbers...
not in my case. numbers & letters are my favorites.

i've tried different careers. coordinator; researcher; producer; admin officer; marketing; tv director; videographer; photographer; now, im in advertising...
i dont know how...
but on the process, i was able to do those... one at a time.
and surprisingly, i performed well during those times - i know - because i did my best. and that's what important, right?

i enjoyed the training... i was always eager to learn more about anything...
and i discovered something in me...
my skills, talents, it shaped me - i know i became a better individual...
i was able to develop my character, piece by piece.

but i was never complete. i kept on searching for something...
none in all the things that ive done gave me this satisfaction and happiness as what writing is giving me...
and now, i realized.
if i will to be somebody that i want to be, i need to know who i am...
to understand what i have become.

i am just starting - again...
this time, i need to concentrate and give writing a chance...

its like going back to myself after my soul was clouded by my ambitions, discovering my real goal. understanding what i really wanted.
knowing my character.
embracing my passion.
revealing the real me.

i was inspired by people who read my blogs, gave some comments, told me that they were touched... i am happy knowing that my "sentiments" were useful and inspiring to others.

as i have said, i am not good... yet.
but i want to be.

i may not know the secret of being a good writer,
but the thought that someone like you reads my piece... it makes me feel like one.

almost winter

this is the most awaited season here in UAE...
winter.
finally, goodbye summer :) see you next year!!!

this year's summer was our first.
i can remember how tense i was when people were sharing me their stories during summer time, when the temperature hits 50 plus.

i am not an aircon baby... but i am not used to heat as well.
i perspire a lot.
that is why i was really worried when the hot temperature season is fast approaching.

how can i go to work? just standing outside our villa kills me... what more when waiting for a cab in pants & long sleeves - under the sun - for almost 30 minutes???? how can i survive?

is taking a bath 2x a day enough to keep me fresh?

then, unconsciously, it was summer.
and you read it right, i was somehow unconscious...
it didnt affect me that much.

during that season, i had carlift. if not, i still managed to go to Al Wasl Road (main road) and waited for taxi... i sweat, but not that much as i expected. as if it was all mind over matter...

i still arrived fresh in the office. sometimes, i retouched. and still was able to cope up with it.
at night, i was still able to walk, from office going home. its a 20 mins walk. and rather than to self - pity - me, i used those times to think, to unwind and to exercise. its not that bad...

and now, the season ends.

i was worried with things that i never knew about...
it took many hours of my life thinking how to survive in something that i havent experienced.
realizing that those things that i feared most were all under control... and its all over now.

don't tell me that worry doesn't do any good. i know better. the things i worry about don't happen :)
----------------
let's welcome, winter...

a gulp of gulf

http://www.gulfnews.com/readers_photos/galleries/10252991.html
mine is 4 of 21. (Oct. 13 - 19)

i posted this photo on "rising burj dubai" blog...
i am so happy with the shot that i also submitted it in Gulf News.

this photo was taken at around 645AM, Dubai time last last weekend.
while all my housemates were still sleeping... i was awake.
with canon as my buddy...
with sunrise...
& burj as our subject.

and its all worth it.

i just want to share :)

-- updated 2015 October 26 (finally was able to take a snap shot)

I believe I can Fly

the thing always happens that you really believe in;
& the belief in a thing makes it happen.

temptation. decision. revelation.

we are weak because we are human.
an excuse for all the flaws in our decisions...

when we are tempted... we always try to resists.
and it is always better to try.
but the best is not to dig in.

i read something about temptation from the daily heartlight message... it struck me. because i am also human, and temptation is all around.

the writer of heartlight says -
in the face of temptation, God promised 2 things:

1. a way out
the power of resistance... the ability to fight over ones weak point.
have the authority to act, instead of react...

2. the power to stand up under trial
the will to survive. the strength to fight...
as they say: It is not in never falling... but rising everytime we fall.

"prevention is better than cure and experience is the best teacher..."

which is easier? which is better?

He also said & I quote:
"Character is produced both by refusing to give into temptation and also refusing to give up during the challenges for remaining faithful."

God is faithful,

He gives us the will power to decide,
the wisdom to choose between good and evil.

now...

it is our choice, that show WHAT we truly are.

what if no what ifs?

just like box of chocolates... regrets also comes from different shapes and sizes.
and you'll never know what you'll gonna get :)

i have many regrets... and im sure everyone does.
i am not proud to admit that but i wont be reticent to share.

we all have to face it.
becoming mature means learning to accept what you cannot change...
to face unresolved sorrows and to learn to love life as it really happens...
not as you would have it happen.

it has two sides.
the things that you did and did not do.

mine usually falls on the first what if... those that i did.
what if i did not do this?
how can one decision flip my life in a 360 degree turns?

but i also have some on the things that i didnt.
what if i listened to them?
or what if i followed my heart?

i once entertained the painful feeling of regrets... and i hated it.
self pity kills me... the depression sucks.

they say that there are no regrets in life, just lessons...
but to regret deeply for me, is to live afresh.
to be awakend. to move out from life's perfect expectations.
to leave the shadow of sadness - the legacy of the past.

what ifs in life are not something to be ashamed of. having those doesnt makes you less of a person... beside, it adds up.

it molds you.

struggles are exactly what we need in our life. if we were to go through life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as we could have been...

do not be afraid to take risks...
life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

avoiding what ifs is like sitting on the bench without even trying to shoot the ball.
not even knowing how great player you could have been.

what ifs will always be what ifs... unless you do what your heart tells you.

accept the pain.
cherish the joys.
resolve what ifs...

then you can say:
"if i had my life to live again... id do it all the same time."